By Nan Donovan, columnist
Vickie Landes is the Manager of the Valley Program For Aging Services. Evidently this a a new service just being formed because although we don’t hear a lot about it, seniors are being abused on a regular basis.
Physical, emotional and sexual abuse, along with neglect are a big problem. But the abused person is often afraid to let anyone know, fearing they won’t be believed. That causes another problem on them and their health. They have the mental problem to deal with, plus the abuse problem. What are they to do?
Many times it’s a member of the family or a caregiver who is the culpret. If the abused person lives alone, it’s harder still to get someone to pay attention when they try to tell them how they are treated. They probably think, who will believe me?
For anyone who even thinks an elderly person is being abused, in any way, call Adult Protective Services at 540-574-5164. Don’t hesitate. The time to stop the abuse is now, and after investigation if they find that it was not true, well, you’ve done your part.
The other side of the coin is this. You take care of your mother-in-law. She’s the grouchy kind. Nothing ever suits her. She told her son not to marry you, yet here you are, doing everything for her and she talks to you like a dog. You talk to her respectfully, although she ignores it. She wants to get you in trouble. She calls the protective service people. They are no dummies. They usually know, from asking questions, what’s going on. Again, you did your part. Don’t be so nice. Get a caregiver from one of the many organizations near you to come take care of her.
The other day when I was reading this article, a situation almost like this one I was just talking about happened to me, almost.
I was called by a man who is difficult, very, to deal with. He wanted me to come into the retirement home where he was admitted just two days before, and bring him home. I first called the home to ask if they knew he was leaving. Yes, they knew. They sounded as if they were glad.
Coming home I ask him if his doctor knew he left. He had been transferred from the hospital and he was to be there two weeks. He said he hadn’t called his doctor, but he would find out. He also stated that the home wasn’t the place for him. People were unfriendly, they did what they wanted, etc. Thank goodness, this guy doesn’t want a caregiver, a member of the family or anyone to help him. I’m wondering, how do they get along when your friends won’t help you out? This guy had no friends because he wanted things his way or no way. Must be a lonely life.
Be careful of people like that. Me? I do little things for this guy because I know he has no friends, not one. I do pray for him , a lot.
Till next time, be safe.
“The Right Age” is a weekly column written for senior citizens by 84-year-old Nan Donovan, who has lived in the Shenandoah Valley for 45 years. She has worked for newspapers, as well as radio and television stations, including WLCC. She moved to the Valley from Pennsylvania.
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